Hi!
Mary here, Richard’s daughter.
Dad’s been declining over the last week or so, and today he gave us quite a scare, fitting and remaining unconscious for long enough to make us all gather at his bedside.
Then he gradually rallied, and is currently, I’m happy to say, shoulder and eyebrow dancing to his absolute favourite new artist, Ed Sheeran. He’s been full of joy, laughing and enjoying good company.
He’d like to say thank you and goodbye to all his friends. In his words, “Signing out”.
Anything you want to say here I can pass on, he’s all ears.
Dearest Richard
I will miss you so much. You have been such a very good friend to me over so many years and you have offered me so much support in all that I’ve done. You’ve been kind and tolerant and funny and fun and I treasure you. I loved having you in my Friday night dance space and I’ve loved dancing with you in Cambridge. I loved writing with you and hearing your stories – loved being part of your book project – learning so much and having so much to think about. I loved sharing special times – birthdays and your wedding – I’ll always remember you in pirate outfit singing to me with Lavinia. And who will I pun with now?
I carry you always in my heart. So much love to you
Nina
Hi Mary
Please give him all our love, he’s constantly in ours thoughts at the moment. Rosie’s been keeping us up to date and I’ve been an avid reader of your dads blog.
Lots of love
Charles and Vicky x
Richard, I won’t be the only person to say that you have been an inspiration in the way that you have dealt with your illness. I think that all who have followed your blog will have gained something special from it, as I have. Thank you. Although, we have known each other for many years through STL/Nortel, it is more recent years that are uppermost in my mind, when we have shared the badminton court, often the same bit of it as we collided…, and afterwards the chats about, well, anything really. I’m glad to hear that you are still full of joy, but not surprised. It’s what you are.
Thank you Mary for this opportunity.
Richard – you have been such an inspiration to me and a total joy to be with. I always squealed with delight getting onto the dance floor and realising you were also present. That always doubled my enjoyment.
I also had so much fun exchanging videos of dance performances where we’d both suggest we’d show the others how to do it next time. And your favourite one was putting your two hands cupped together in front of you as if to give me a platform to step onto and back flip off. It was our little game and I loved it.
Such fond memories of you laughing out loud. Always finding some joy in most situations.
And your hugs. Oh yes your genuine well meant hugs.
You have been a blessing to me. You have touched me deeply. I have such gratitude for your impact.
Love is all we have and I offer that to you as you enter your next phase. Go gently xxx
HI Mary,
If you can pass our love too.
We are all thinking of you and your family. Your blog has been an inspiration but is so typical of your approach to problems and life. Thank you for all you ideas and inspiration at STL/Nortel and beyond.
All the memories will live with me for ever. I will wheel out the denture sensor at every opportunity. It never fails! If I can get half as much out of life as you have, and still are, I will be grateful.
Love Nigel, Michelle, Matt & Emily xxx
Hi Richard(I remember you as “Dick” from University) but that was 51 years ago. I guess we all have changed since then-I blame the women for that!
I recall that you were very studious and probably did very well in Finals.
Our last contact was when I sought your advice on a project in China where 5 of my guys had got some funding for a fibre optic application and were going to leave my company “to follow their dream”. You advised against putting any money into the project. I heeded your advice, they left and I never heard anything more.
I am so sorry that we lost contact but I know you took much pride in the fame of your son and daughter.
You seem to be well loved and greatly respected by old friends.
There will be a big hole on this earthly home when you leave it.
My dear Richard,
I am so glad to have been lucky enough to have been part of your life.
I cherish the times we’ve worked together (which was a brilliant education), I still ask “what would Richard do?”, I’ve never met anyone as brilliant and fun to work with or who had such a passion for understanding.
I cherish the times we’ve played together – that amazing first trip to work with Ida (remember on the first day we turned to each other, both of us streaming tears and said “this is good shit”), the Kabbalah course, so many life shaping and profound experiences, so much dancing and singing, and rather fast driving.
You are one of my dearest friends, you are always in my heart.
I love you Richard
I wish I was with you to hug and hold you
Love
Jonathan. Xxxxxooxoxo
Dear Richard, you are in my thoughts a lot. When I am dancing I remember you and our fun and funny dances, and I can picture you so clearly, I miss you actually being there on the dancefloor but it sounds like you are still dancing! I wish you a good onward journey into the great mystery. Sending you so much love and thank you for all you have shared of yourself here on this blog and in person. Love, Nicole x
Thanks Mary…
Richard –
As just seems to be the way it is with you: thank you for the inspiration, in many ways.
I will remember many a thing, usually there is a smile involved (then, and now). What I learned from you is that a person can be warm, interested, funny, smart, inquisitive, open, welcoming and all that at the same time. But perhaps most of all that we can be a human being without fear to be just that, human. Including that it’s ok to hesitate when we don’t know how to do that.
Our thoughts have been with you the last few months, the memories will be forever, and very, very diverse. From the social occasions, to the many ways you managed to make me – and later on Katrijn – feel welcome. And me finally understanding enthusiasm about Dr. Strangelove (did I learn to stop worrying, and love?), and actually worrying about being a passenger in your Subaru, and most of all chats about life, with pudding-with-custard in the STC canteen…
I hope your shoulders are still fine, so many people standing on your gigantic ones (as do I…)
Thank you – Bram, Katrijn and the boys
Hi Mary, three poems for Richard, from and by Trevor. Hugs to you all.
For Richard
_______________________________________
if I could
I’d like to place
a rainbow in your sadness
in all its colours
and see it come through your windows
and plonk its bounty
on your table
I’d like to place a sunflower
in a pot
outside your door
and see you watch it grow
one day
bursting into gold
a bright face smiling at you
I’d like to put a surf wave
at the bottom of your street
and wait for you to come out
with your sleepy morning face
to see the sea
its white horses
pushing their way towards you
and you could laugh
and you could cry
and you could smile again
______________________________________
I believe
the rounded hills
in the distance
call out
through mist and rain
and purple
the colours change
but not the hills
sleet and snow falls
the trees rise through it all
and the wind
carries words across
the grey sky
_____________________________________
for you
one star
in the darkness
is enough
_______________
for Richard from and by Trevor Hayes
Dear Richard
I will miss you! Such lovely memories to treasure from the dancefloor!! Your big and tender heartspace has helped me find a Lyrical expression filled with tenderness, giggles and good humour – thank you, thank you, thank you. Go well on your journey dear friend,
With love, Jacky xx
Dear Richard,
I’m sorry not to have met you sooner, but very glad to have had the chance to
chat and dance with you. Admiring your courage and strength, and
wishing you and your family as much peace and joy as possible in the
days and weeks ahead.
Adrian
Dear Ricardo, thank you for the minimum time we spent together -aspecially in Spain, where I met you for the first time as an inspirational sprank, which will always, as long as I live will travelling with me. We’ll meet, somewhere. Again.
Dear Richard!
So honoured to know you from STL days!
Thanks for sharing your life and inspiration with so many. I will always remember the early days of the eye-ball tracking device you came up with back in the 80’s! Amazing!!
Let me sign off with “If the truth shall set you free, you shall be free indeed!”
God bless,
David – Austria.
Richard,
testimony to you that so many names from so long ago, 1980-1985 in my case, such as David Fry, Jonathan King, Nigel Baker, Nigel Jolley appear in this one thread. I remember many of the anecdotes they describe, denture sensor with Desmond Ridler as described by Nigel above almost Del Boy falling through the bar like in STL folklore.
Keep rocking and rolling to Ed Sheeran (though he does tend to grate on a long car journey or to any captive audience tbh) and thank you for showing me there was life beyond glueing jewelled ferrules onto optical fibres. Would be the stuff of Hollywood to say that from those humble beginnings and helped by your global network of connections I am now Chief of Staff for Donald Trump, Designer of the iPhone X or the British Ambassador to Japan, But, alas, I’m not BUT… I am considerably further on in life then I would have been without your advice so thank you.
Richard (Senior Principal Research Engineer for R540 and R670, as I think of you), goodbye and good luck to you and your family, it was always a pleasure when you were around, never a chore and all best wishes to fellow STL alumni who remember me from the past, we were a lucky bunch weren’t we!
Phil Gardener (class of ’85)
Richard, you have been part of the fabric of Seymour Mews for so long, we will miss seeing you out on your photography walks and I wish we had got to know you better. Lavinia and the family are always welcome at no. 6 should they need us for anything at all. All best wishes, Carol & Martin
Thank you Mary.
Richard, I have only known you and Lavinia dancing on the dance floor over the past four years. I have seen the joy and fun in your eyes and body during the dance and it always lifted my own dance when near you. I have been reading your blog over the past few months and feel as though I am on the journey with you. Dance on, brave man, dance on into the universe and beyond. Dance on and when you embrace the stars sprinkle a little light on us all dancing. Lots of love and light, Jacqui Robinson (dancer at Cambsdance esp St Pauls).
Dear Richard,
hard to find words. But I try and like to say thank you for all what you did for me, the shy and introverted German boy such twenty-odd years ago when I was working with you at BNR/Nortel. I think of the free-style dancing and the singing course with Ida Lelarova, just to name a few.
And many thanks for sharing with me the last half year on this posting platform. I was reading so many wonderful things which rang a bell in myself, that I wanted to speak to you directly. That’s why I asked for a phone number. Unfortunately, when you did end me that, I had so many demanding engagements that I did not call immediately, and then I fell into a kind of mini-burnout. Recovering from that then I broke my upper arm, and now recovering from that it is too late for calling.
I can tell you that I have found my own ways to free myself. I have learned that not what I want is important, but what I can give to others, be at work, be in private life. I have received so much positive feedback, and although I am still an introverted person and live by myself, I am never really alone and I enjoy life.
There is so much more to say, but you are receiving now hundreds of posts, and I better control myself. I thought that this will please you to know that this shy German Boy now found a way to his own life, and you certainly played a role in that process.
All the best wished and God bless you – I’ll never forget you, and who knows whether we shll see each other again in a different place,
Dietmar
Hi Richard,
As those before me have said you are loved and treasured by all that have had the benefit of knowing and spending time with you.
You provided an opening for me at STL and inspired me not only with an experimental and intuitive approach to engineering but also shaped my thinking with the wide ranging discussions including religion, alternative world views and reading, Murthi, Castaneda & more.
I also appreciate the times you reached out and included me in activities such as badminton, curries, at your home etc.
I hope that you remain comfortable.
Mary & Lavinia our love to you too,
Lots of love, Yash & Maureen
Richard,
I’m glad we were able to talk briefly on the phone recently. Ever since we worked together on ‘ Special Projects ‘ from 1966 onwards, to the years from 1976 in the Optical Comms Team you were an inspirational friend and colleague who not only made a world leading contribution but also made work fun for so many people ! Not a bad achievement ! So glad we stayed in touch after retirement. You have been a steady friend always up for a good natter and to lean on at times.
Frances & I are thinking of you, Lavinia, and the family.
Much Love from Tony and Frances.
Hi Richard,
Thanks for being such an inspirational person in my life, from a mentor when I was straight out of uni to a friend. You made work so much fun and helped me to develop an inquisitiveness into this world and life that has remained with me since – nearly 40 years now! The annual Christmas Curry has become an institution which will always remind of you!
Di and I are thinking of you, Lavinia and the family at this time and wish you all God’s peace and rest.
Much love,
Martin & Di
Richard, only known you for short time but always had interesting chats about “geeky“ things. Love John & Caroline xx
We were thinking of you at our recent Memoir Club meeting, Richard. It occurred to me that you have been making a case for an alternative approach to Dylan Thomas’s ‘…Rage, rage, against the dying of the light.’ No one in the group, and I imagine none of your friends, have anything but admiration for the way you have dealt with your situation. The best tribute I can pay you is to suggest that more than a few of us will look back to your example when our own time comes. You bid us, ‘go well’; you’re showing us how. Our love to you and your family.
JR-B
Dear Richard, you have been so many things to me over the years – boss, mentor, colleague, teacher, inspiration. Your gift for conceptualizing and communicating is something to cherish (everything from the “denture sensor” to the “mattress model” of nonlinear optics!). I’ve always admired your boyish enthusiasm – and the sense of wonder with which you seemed to approach everything in your life.
Many years ago you gave me a copy of Kahlil Gibran’s ‘The Prophet’ – I got it down from the shelf tonight and it fell open at this passage:
“Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.
And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.
And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.”
My path would have been so different if it hadn’t crossed yours – with thanks, and tears, and love – JH
Ahhh can I echo that too.
So many people changed forever, so much love and gratitude for you’re being
Love
Jonathan
Dear Richard, our paths crossed only briefly during my time at BNR/Nortel and I doubt you remember me. I remember you well. Your gift to me was how to conduct oneself with grace and good humour when challenged by difficult people or situations. Still not as good as you at it, but hopefully I have more years left to keep trying. Thanks!
Richard,
Your courage facing this illness has been amazing. You and your family are are in our thoughts and prayers over the coming weeks.
Love Mark and Aileen
Hi Mary
Please tell your Dad I am thinking of him here in France and imagining him dancing with his eyebrows. We had so much wisdom, good level thinking, graciousness and kindness from him when he was well and its wonderful to think his powerful spirit is carrying him along in these difficult days. Thinking of you and all the family too. Keep strong in the Epworth spirit.
From Alan and all the philosophy group
Hi Mary
My name is Gina Wright, I stumbled upon Richards log by accident, but think it was meant to be.
On July 28th 2011 Richard & Lavinia attended our wedding at Hanbury Manor Murray and I had a wonderful day. Lavinia was one of our witnesses at the wedding, so they feature heavily in our photo`s, there are some beautiful pictures of the four of us. I have read your dads blog with interest. Please say hello to Richard & Lavinia and our thoughts are with you and all the family xxxxxx
Dear Richard,
I feel privileged that you have been both a colleague and a friend over 25 years. Your significant contribution to the world of optics and your work on human perception will be a lasting professional legacy. From my personal perspective your lateral thinking has been a huge influence in bringing out my inventive side. I still regularly recount your Concorde vs 747 analogy (maybe they should have consulted you before they built the A380…).
However there is also a human legacy from the warmth you have shown so many people (many of whom I have been lucky to meet at your birthday parties). Your undeterred inner strength in dealing with the situation you found yourself in has been truly inspirational and one which will stay with me forever. You have been the life and soul of all my parties (proof you can have fun without alcohol!). I have so many fond memories, many fantastically captured by your trusty camera (and thankfully the Gazzisms are preserved for posterity!).
Thinking of you, Lavinia and your family.
With love,
Julian (Love also from Emma, Lily and Natalie)
Hi Richard
So much love to you and Lavinia and the rest of your family. Your star has always burned so brightly;I am sure it must be gleaming now. Sue and Martixxxxxxxxxx
Richard, what can I say? Except thank you so much for your inspiration, friendship, badminton games, social events and techy conversions over the years. I will miss you so much but I’ll endeavour to pass on the legacy of your ideas for as long as I am able. The thoughts of Fiona and I are with you. Robin
Thank you Mary.
Richard, I have so much to thank you for, most of all thank you for being my friend. There are so many good memories, Phil is right we were indeed a very luck bunch.
Pete
Thank you Mary…I have only just discovered how I can comment….?
Richard…Dave and I have known you but a relatively short time in your life…but with Lavinia you have brought such fun, love and laughter to our lives. We have missed seeing you very much since we moved downto Devon. We have lovely memories of our two cruises with you …one on the Queen Elizabeth and the other “celebrating that certain age”…and I have a wonderful video of you and Lavinia on the dance floor of the QEin fits of laughter….but also gazing into each other’s eyes whilst trying to learn a new dance from the Russians.
Have a peaceful journey to your next destination…we shall miss you more than you realise. With our love….xx
Hi Richard
Thanks to your always reliable recommendations we had a seminar today led by Helen Gibson. If only you could have been there. Thinking of you as always.
Alan W
Richard, you are such a beautiful person.
Thanks, Mary,
Hi Richard,
How did it all begin? I can’t remember but my desk was close to your office when I joined Nortel. I guess that we started with some small talk but, none of us being very good at that, we moved to something of more substance. And then, it simply happened. From technical discussions (probably about dispersion managed solitons in those days) to more personal ones, to the raku pottery event, the 5 rythm dance, the Kodo drummers show, your short stories and poems (beautiful the one about Charlie Kao!), the memories of your trips around the world, the memories of the Hitchin-Stevenage first commercial optical link, your Bottleneck book, your Subaru (you liked to rev it up!), your acute observation of cutlery (your Sheffield and family background), your wedding, my wedding, paternity (or grand-paternity for you) and, more recently, mortality… so many things shared! So much insight! So much curiosity! So much energy! So much laughter too! So many emotions! And that’s precisely the point. This is not the typical topic engineers are comfortable about but you’re obvisouly an exception, an incredible exception, who shared so much with such generosity!
I owe you a lot, both professionnaly and personnally, and I feel blessed that our paths crossed.
Thanks, Richard.
Lots of love
Marco